Like most other child in Hong Kong, I don't interest in religion when I studied in primary school. When I finished my primary school studying, I wan assigned to a Christian secondary school.

In F.2, I usually joined Christian fellowship on Friday, because I don't have other activities. I started to read bible, and think that this is the truth of the world. However I haven't believed it because I can't find the relationship of Jesus and me. This situation last for one year, I finally believe in Jesus Christ in F.3 during a Christian week.

However, I don't think I am really a Christian that at time. Because I only know some knowledge of the Bible and think that these are true, I still very egocentric and don't let Jesus be the lord of my life.

Although I haven't let Jesus be my lord, I have some changes after I declare myself as a Christian:
1.  Leaving sin: Once I declare myself as a Christian, I suddenly feel I shouldn't do something, like tell lie, and say foul, I never have such feeling before.
2.  Start to pray and god listened to my prayer: I think that the prayers of first few month of being a Christian have really fast and direct feedback!
3.  Open myself to other. I am a very shy person before I am a Christian. I don't like to make friends. But I got change after I become a Christian, I change my attitude to other people, and I open myself to meet new friends.
4.  Of course, I continue to attend fellowship and learn more from the bible.

Because of all these positive changes of me, I keep exploring this religion. However, I haven't followed the law of Jesus; I made some serious mistakes that I feel shy to record from my memory.

In F.4, I am the staff of the computer society in my school, I start making copy of some software to my classmate to earn money without consider the matter of copyright. Even worse, I sell stolen item. I have a classmate work in a computer shop and he often steal RAM at his shop. On the other hand, I also know some friend have a computer shop. So I buy the stolen RAM and sell it to my friend. I know a Christian should not do that, but I just ignore it. The reason is I just say 『Jesus is my Lord』from mouth, but not by heart. I feel very bad at that time because I lie to Jesus, and this even makes me recognize the problem of myself.

When I am F.5, I change to the other school. During the Christmas party, a Christian classmate stand out and point out the bad behavior of other classmates. Because they are good friends to me, I haven't point out their fault. However, my classmates, also good friend to them, don't feel afraid and point out their problem and broke their relationship. This event makes me re-think about my relationship to Jesus. At that time, I refuse to do the same thing, and many other people consider me as a good Christian, but why I will afraid to tell the truth while my classmates won't? 

After a year, I know what is the really problem of me, I just say I am a Christian but I haven't let Jesus be the Lord of my life. I need to make a decision: I continue to pretend I to be a Christian, and still refuse Jesus control my life, and continue to live with sin; or let Jesus control my life, let him change my life even I don't like to change. I choose the second choice, and I think that is the times I become a real Christian, with Jesus live in my heart.
